In the not to distant future, in the small town of Gilbert, Arizona an old man picks up his remote and points it at his TV as we join a CNM (Cable Network Muckraking) broadcast… CLICK
"… in a related story a White House spokesman once again denied all allegations that President Bush had reactivated the battleship U.S.S. Iowa and had ordered it to sit offshore in the Gulf of Mexico to bombard the levees of the city of New Orleans' during Hurricane Katrina. When told of this denial the Honorable Reverend Jesse Jackson stated, ‘Me and Spike have proof that he did use the Iowa to destroy the levees of New Orleans and we are filming a documentary together, with the support of the Coalition of The Righteous Brotherhood of New Orleans, which I have just founded and am the President of, which will prove it!’ The Reverend Jackson then went on to say…”
CNM News Flash… CNM News Flash… CNM News Flash…
“CNM interrupts our news cast to bring you this important breaking story! We go now to The Stitching Room in Atlanta with anchorperson Bolt Striker.”
Bolt: “We have just received confirmation from a top level secret source that a terrorist plot has been uncovered in Missouri. According to our sources, who quoted from a message received early this morning, two Islamic terrorists with Al Qaeda affiliations have entered that State and may be looking for an American who has, and I quote in part, ‘…defamed the Islamic people with his failed attempts at humor. We of the Muslim faith will not tolerate intolerance when it comes to those you show no tolerance for Islam!’ The message concludes with, ‘Praise Allah, death to all the intolerant infidels!’ We go now to Copper Hooper in Washington D.C. Copper are you there?”
Copper: “Thank you Bolt. CNM has uncovered information from CIA sources that the FBI, working on a tip from the ATF who was working on information given to them by the INS who was in turn given a heads up by the DHS after they where informed that something was up by the USBP, has tracked two Muslim terrorists who illegally crossed the Mexican-American border last Tuesday through Nogales. By hitching a ride in a truckload of illegal immigrants who were also smuggling one and a half tons of marijuana into the States, the terrorists then made their way up I-19 to Tucson, Arizona. There they boarded a plane headed for Little Rock, Arkansas. In Little Rock they rented a car from the Alamo Car Rentals and were last seen headed north on U.S. Route 65 in a lime green KIA hatchback. The FBI along with State and local police officials are now trying to find them as they lost the KIA in traffic. Police officials now presume that the terrorists are somewhere in the mountains of Missouri where they say that it will be difficult to locate a lime green car in the heavily forested areas.”
Bolt: “Yes Copper, I’ve been to that part of Missouri and it is green!”
Copper: “ Yes Bolt it is, and that is why the police are concerned that these terrorists may slip through and proceed unheeded to wherever they are going.”
Bolt: “Hoop, do authorities have any idea who or what these terrorists mean to target?”
Cooper: “Not at this time, Bolt. The message from the terrorists mentions ‘an American who has made ‘failed attempts at humor.’ Bolt, I too have been to this part of Missouri and like you I found it to be very green but I did not find anything or anyone that could be considered humorous. Right now we can only speculate on what or who these two men are after and their intentions once they get to wherever they are going.”
Bolt: “Thank you Copper, we will check back with you in a few moments but right now we are taking you to the Tucson International Airport in Tucson, Arizona where the terrorists flew out of this morning on their way to Little Rock, that’s in Arkansas, and standing by is CNM reporter and anchorwoman Heidi Ho, Heidi.”
Heidi: “Thank you Bolt and good morning…”
Bolt: “Ah… I’m sorry Heidi but it is afternoon here in Atlanta where it is 1:00 PM.”
Heidi: “Ah… yes Bolt, that may very well be but here in Tucson it is only 10:00 AM.”
Bolt: “Oh yes excuse me, please go on.”
Heidi: “Well Bolt, as I was saying, good MORNING and it has been a very hectic morning here for airport officials and the airport security personnel. Apparently at approximately 6:20 AM local time, that would have been approximately 9:20 AM for you in Atlanta Bolt, two Muslim males between the ages of 2o and 45 years of age checked through airport security on their way to board Flight 1063 to Little Rock, Arkansas. As the head of airport security told me just minutes ago his agents did find these two men suspicious but did not detain them because, as we all know, we cannot detain individuals simply because we are suspicious of their religious faith, origins, behavior or appearance.”
Bolt: “ Yes Heidi, that would be profiling and in all that is right and American, we can’t do that.”
Heidi: “Yes Bolt that is correct. However two people who were going through security at the same time have been detained and are now being interrogated by the Homeland Security investigators. Well, actually three people are now detained if you include the baby.”
Bolt: “Excuse me Heidi, did you say b-a-b-y, baby?”
Heidi: “Yes Bolt I will explain, or better yet, I have here with me now Margarita Munoz one of the security agents who was present at the time when the terrorists checked through her station at the airport security. Miss Munoz could you please tell our listeners what happened this morning?”
Munoz: “Please, Señora Munoz, if you please.”
Heidi: “Oh, I’m sorry, excuse me, Señora, please tell us what happened.”
Munoz: “Well it was very busy here this morning. The people just kept coming and coming, we didn’t even have time for our normal breaks. Hector and I were on one station while Harold, he is the shift’s captain, and I think just because he is an old white man and he is really bossy, and Armando where on the other station…”
Heidi: “So there were only two security stations open this morning.”
Munoz: “Yes.”
Heidi: “Is that normal, because you said you were very busy and I see ten security stations in all?”
Munoz: “Well, we try to keep the people all together you know, it is less trouble for us, besides it gives the other ten people on duty more time to do other things, like take much needed breaks so that we can stay alert, but those gringos no come back for hours…”
Heidi: “Ah yes…ah…please Señora, tell us about this morning.”
Munoz: “Well okay, like I said Hector and I were checking people through when these two men came through the line together. They were all dirty and scruffy looking, you know just like my cousin Miguel when he came to our house early that morning after coming across at Nogales. But hey, I thought, who am I to judge these men because they are dirty? Right? They were carrying two shoulder bags that looked pretty heavy and made sort of a clunking sound when they put them on the conveyor to go through the x-ray machine. So I have to tell you that I was getting just a little suspicious. When the bags went through x-ray they both looked like they had one of those…oh…ah… you know… what I mean…one of those ah…Uzi type guns and some big egg shaped things, about six in each bag. So I stopped the conveyor and asked the first man what was in the bags. He smiled, he had a nice smile, and said that they were water pistols for their nephews and paperweights for their cousins. And then I said, are you sure? When all of a sudden some woman just started screaming at Hector! She was mad at him because Hector took her baby’s bottle away and he wouldn’t give it back. Well everybody should know by now that you can’t have baby bottles on an airplane! So now the baby started crying, I mean just screeching! And the people in line behind this woman are yelling at Hector to give the kid back his bottle, but we can’t do that, its not safe you know! So then as I leave the x-ray machine to help Hector this old man over in the other line with Harold and Armando, is giving them some grief. Something about he is tired of this bull…, well I won’t use that word. But he is telling Harold that what he had in his pocket was something he called ‘The Medal Of Honor’ and that it wasn’t a weapon and that he was tired of always being stopped at airports by security and that he was an ex-governor of some state. But I ain’t never heard of that state.”
Heidi: “So what happened to the two men with the bags?”
Munoz: “Well after our security guards came over and took away the woman and her baby and that old crazy ex-governor man, when I went back to my station the two men and their bags were gone.”
Heidi: “But didn’t you call security to search the airport for these men? I mean they had in their bags what sounds to me were two Uzi’s and some hand grenades!”
Munoz: “Oh no, I was sure that they were just water pistols and paperweights just like they said. I mean, at the time I figured, who would be stupid enough to try to get hand grenades and guns through our security?”
Heidi: “But now you know, after all these other reports, that is exactly what they had, guns and explosives.”
Munoz: “Yes but the plane made it safely to Little Rock, which is our job to see that it does, and we have two of their accomplices in custody, well three if you count the baby.”
Heidi: “Why do you think they were accomplices?”
Munoz: “Well everybody knows you can’t bring liquids on board an airplane now, and that other man was just acting crazy. Yes, I’m sure that they were meant to be a diversion so that those other two could get by security. I can see that now. Besides, even if they were not connected to those other two men they are in a whole bunch of trouble now!”
Heidi: “What kind of trouble?”
Munoz: “They resisted us! Plus that woman called us names! But she really got into trouble when she yelled at Hector and said, ‘for heaven’s sake its baby formula not a bomb!’ And we all know that nobody can say bomb in an airport anymore. Yes, she is really in big trouble.”
Heidi: “Yes, well, thank you Mrs… I mean Señora. This is Heidi Ho reporting from the Tucson International Airport in Tucson, Arizona. Back to you Bolt.”
Bolt: “Thank you. That was Heidi Ho reporting from Tucson. That’s in Arizona. And Heidi, even though these two terrorists were able to get through that security check point here is one American that is glad to see that our Homeland Security personnel such as Señora Munoz has been so well trained and does not bring dishonor upon our country by profiling passengers. Thank you Señora. We now go back to Copper Hooper in Washington D.C., that’s in… ah… Hoop what’s new there?”
Copper: “Thank you Bolt, there is much speculation from various members of our government as to just what these terrorists are up to. We now join a press conference being held on the Capitol steps by the esteemed Senator John Kerry from Massachusetts.
Kerry: “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming. I have just a brief comment on the current pursuit of these alleged terrorists. First I believe that this just may be a ploy by the White House to take the focus off of the unanswered allegations leveled against the President for his use of the USS Iowa to bombard the levees in New Orleans. If in fact there are two rogue terrorists running through the heartland of our great nation, and after hearing that the terrorists most surely seem to be headed for Springfield, Missouri, I am appalled by the President's lack of response. Once again the White House sits idly by when anyone can clearly see that these terrorists have targeted the Springfield Armory! It is the only installation of importance in this area.”
Unknown Reporter: “Ah excuse me Sir, the Springfield Armory is in your own state of Massachusetts not Missouri and Sir, it was closed down in 1968. It is now just a museum. A private company bought the name from the government and that company is now located in Geneseo, Illinois.”
Kerry: “Well, then you will see that I am correct in saying that this is just a ploy to take the attention away from the crime of attacking a US city by our own President with a battleship. Good day and thank you for coming.”
CNM Announcer: “CNM news coverage will be right back.”
Commercial Timeout
To Be Continued:
PART TWO
"Copyright 2006. Michael E. Tank All rights reserved. No part of this document may be copied, faxed, electronically transmitted, or in any other manner duplicated without express written permission of the author."
CROSSHAIRS
